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Communication

 Using Nature to Connect with Creativity and Generations: KC Memory Cafe

The tables are scattered with pine cones, sycamore leaves, and decorative branches, along with bottles of glue, vivid construction paper, and pots of colorful paint. Our KC Memory Cafe begins with sharing memories of camping, scouting, or outdoor activities. Then a lively group of Girl Scouts leads us in song, reminding us to, “Make new friends, But keep the old, One is silver, And the other gold.” 

After our singalong, cafe guests experiment with the art supplies and natural objects. They dip pine cones into red paint and brush blue across crusty leaves. They paint a stick bright orange and wrap it with yarn. The Girl Scouts weave through the artists, pouring extra paint, distributing additional papers, and assisting when asked. The guests work, admire, chat, and laugh as these creative projects emerge. By the end of the cafe, the tables are covered with innovative art and people are smiling as they return home. 

Click here for a look at our cafe.

 

Want to introduce more nature into your lives?

“Research shows that nature-based activity is therapeutic and is essentially a form of treatment for dementia symptoms, helping a person remain at home longer,” says Garuth Chalfont PhD, American Society of Landscape Architects, and author of the. Dementia Green Care Handbook.       

Gathering flowers, walking a tree-lined sidewalk, plucking a cherry tomato off its vine, watering a house plant, gazing out the window at chickadees—these meaningful natural activities increase pleasure, relaxation, social interactions, and sensory stimulation. 

Here are a few other ideas:

• Create observation spots in your living space so you can enjoy looking outdoors. Even watching the weather helps people feel engaged in the natural environment.

• Improve your view with interesting additions, such as bird feeders and birdhouses, bubbling fountains, wind chimes, wind spinners, outdoor sculpture, and various plants and herbs. 

• Add resilient plants to your home.

• Bring in natural objects to touch, identify, arrange, draw and craft with. 

• Visit garden centers, parks, playgrounds, and zoos for a rich natural experience.

• Increase your popularity by taking a dog with you on a walk, either your own or borrow your neighbor’s pup. 

Click to view informative and inspiring short videos on our YouTube channel

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Laughing All the Way: Boosting Health and Happiness 

“When You Laugh, you change, 

and when you change the whole world changes.” 

          -Dr Madan Kataria, MD, Founder Laughter Yoga Movement

 

We were warmly welcomed into a parlor area, reminiscent of an elegantly aging aunt’s apartment. A piano waited patiently along one wall. There was a colorful bowl of fruit and a tempting array of pastries and fruit-infused waters. As we waited, we looked out into an outdoor garden and picnic area.  The 80th Street Residency, a memory care community in Manhattan, created a warm, home-like atmosphere for its residents. Ron and I had come here to offer a laughter yoga class, hoping to boost our participants’ health and happiness. We worked with their activities coordinator, Jackie LaBau.

Here’s what we’ve learned about laughter yoga: often people look, act, and feel differently after they’ve experienced a session. There is a magic about intentionally laughing with a group. The experience of breathing, clapping, engaging in playful imaginings, and of course, laughing, soon softens the spirits. People feel energetic and connected.  Everyone, including staff, residents, and us, leave feeling happier. That’s what happened  in New York,  just as it has every time Ron and I have led laughing sessions.  

Back home in Kansas City, we laughed with the lively people at Jeanne’s Place, CareHaven’s day program for people living with early stage dementia. We have laughed with these wonderful folks before, and now they start giggling when we walk in. 

We also visited Mandy Shoemaker and her team at Prairie Eider Care, our area’s only Eden Alternative homes, and we had fun admiring their outdoor barnyard collection of silky chickens, a potbellied pig, and sassy ducks. Then we settled into their welcoming living areas.  We sat in intergenerational circles with staff, family members, and residents, talking, singing, and laughing.

Dr. Kataria, the founder of Laughter Yoga, believes that inviting out our childlike energy and acting playfully is vital to living a balanced and healthy life. Plus, it’s tremendous fun. He says: “Laughter Yoga is an aerobic workout that helps uplift your mood within minutes by releasing endorphins from your brain cells. You often remain energized, relaxed, and in good spirits throughout the day. Laughter also makes our immune system stronger, increases oxygen intake, and reduces stress. Plus laughing with others builds a social bond and reduces feelings of isolation.”

In our groups, we created laughter milkshakes, with each person choosing their favorite flavor of ice cream. We looked at each other, waved, and laughed. We had a lot of dog lovers in our groups, so we imagined how a chihuahua would laugh. A member of the nursing team loved large dogs and she helped us to guffaw like a Great Dane. Most of our group loved baseball, so we sang, “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” then substituted the words with “Ha Ha “ syllables, otherwise known as the Ha Ha Chorus. That chorus works for any familiar song and tickles your funny bone.

Ron and I learned Laughter Yoga from the amazing Robert Rivest, who is a master trainer and who studied with Dr. Kataria. But you don’t need to be a trained facilitator to bring more laughter into your life.

Quick Tips for Adding Laughter into the Day

•Look at the clock and laugh for one minute.

•When driving, laugh during red lights.

•When working out, pick a couple of exercises, such as squats and curls, and laugh while you’re doing them. (Want to get others laughing? Do this at the gym!)

•Use the “ha ha chorus” to bring giggles into your life. Take any song and substitute “ha ha ha’s” for the words. This works well in the shower, car, on walks and more.

Want to laugh more? 

Visit laughteryoga.org and robertrivest.com 

Contact Deborah Shouse and Ron Zoglin: 816-361-7878  Email myinfo@pobox.com Website: DemeniaJourney.org

If you are part of a memory care community in the KC area and you’d like to gift your residents with laughter, feel free to reach out to us at creativity@pobox.com 

Click to view informative and inspiring short videos on our YouTube channel

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Talking about Dementia with Teens

We were delighted to spend time with the bright and curious sixth and seventh graders in Mary Silwance’s class at KC Academy. They had read the young adult novel Hour of the Bees, which features a poignant relationship between a pre-teen girl and her grandfather who is living with dementia, and they wanted to learn more. During our short time together, talking about dementia with teens, we discussed:

  • How it might feel for people who are living with dementia
  • Stigma and stereotypes
  • Creativity and dementia
  • Becoming an advocate

Here are a few excerpts from our lively conversation: 

How many of you have ever misplaced something? How did you feel when you couldn’t find it?

How many of you have ever forgotten what you were going to say? 

Have any of you ever overslept, woken up in a panic, and not known what day it was?

Those kinds of issues happen to most of us, at least occasionally. 

But imagine how you would feel if they started happening all the time. You kept misplacing your cell phone, your homework, your library books. You couldn’t remember your address or your teacher’s name.  What if you raised your hand to answer a question at school and the words you were going to say just disappeared. Or they came out all jumbled up? What if it happened so often that you started to worry about talking and became more and more quiet?

These are a few of the things that people who are living with dementia have to cope with.

With most illnesses, people cluster around and want to help you. But some people with memory loss actually lose their friends. We know dementia is not contagious, so why would people shy away?

People are scared when their friends and family members start changing. They’re worried they won’t know what to say or how to communicate. They’re worried about making a mistake. But the only mistake is abandoning a person you care about.

Lots of people are working together to make life better for those who are living with dementia. And some are those are people who are living with dementia. They say, “Nothing about us without us,” which means, “Don’t make plans about our lives without consulting us.” 

How you can be an advocate

  • Watch your language. Don’t use the words victim or sufferer with Alzheimer’s or dementia. These are strong and courageous people dealing with a brain disease.  
  • Look for opportunities to spend time with people who are living with dementia.
  • Don’t worry if you don’t know what to say. Look at the person. If they’re in a wheelchair or chair, bend or kneel so you can have eye contact. 
  • Try to find a quiet place to talk and listen. Some people are overwhelmed by too much noise.
  • Remember to slow down because some people need extra time to answer questions.
  • Seek ways to connect through arts and imagination, including music, drawing, cooking, gardening, and flower arranging.

Click here to experience part of the conversation 

Click to view informative and inspiring short videos on our YouTube channel

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Creating a Dementia Friendly Kansas City

Luck. Kismet. The stars aligning. Those are all valid descriptions of our April 5th event, Creating a Dementia Kansas City.

First, we were lucky to have two great speakers: Emily Kearns, PhD, formerly of Dementia Friendly Massachusetts and Michelle Niedens, from the University of Kansas Alzheimer’s Disease Center.

Then, a lovely splash of kismet  when Emily and April Roy, Director of the Plaza Library, were invited to join Gina Kaufmann on KCUR’s Central Standard.

Thanks to Central Standard and lots of grass roots marketing, almost 100 people attended from many different sectors. Our attendees included representatives from The Alzheimer’s Association, The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, The Kansas City Symphony, The Renaissance Festival, KC Actors Theatre, The Naka-Kon Anime Convention, the Mayor’s office of Culture and Creative Services, as well as the medical and healthcare communities, senior services providers, the library community, first responders, faith communities, social work consortiums, people who are living with dementia and their friends and care partners, community volunteers, and more.

Our vision was beautifully articulated by our two speakers: “We envision Kansas City as a community where every citizen feels welcomed, valued, and engaged.”

We’ve only just begun and we welcome your support. 

 

 

Click on this link to enjoy a brief sampling of our Dementia Friendly Kansas City official launch

Click here to preview some inspiring action steps

Click to view informative and inspiring short videos on our YouTube channel

Please consider joining us for our follow through Lunch and Learns.

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Coming Together to Ignite Hope: Working with Dr. Chawla in New Delhi, India

Our Uber driver in New Delhi was a turbaned Sikh with a long gray beard. A sign hanging from the rear view mirror proclaimed, “This car respects women.” He deftly drove us through the city, navigating the melee wherein four lanes of cars compete in a two-lane space. Inside the NGO, Hope Ek A.S.H.A., the receptionist led us into Dr. Chawla’s office. Dr. Chawla has a rich voice and a magnetic presence. She is the catalyst for this center for caregivers, creating the service because of her own experience with her mother and Alzheimer’s.  We were coming together to ignite hope. 

“We know how hard it is for the caregivers,” she says. She and her team help caregivers throughout New Delhi and indeed, throughout the world, educating them, visiting with them and their loved ones who are living with dementia, facilitating support groups, sharing stories and ideas, offering respite and financial support as possible. 

For this event, she has gathered a group of doctors, caregivers, support staff, and more. First, some of her team show us activities they do with clients who are living with dementia. These include chanting, deep breathing, gentle stretching, tapping (EFT- Emotional Freedom Techniques), and a lovely heart opening exercise that affirms “We are healthy, we are happy.” They show us painting and games that strengthen memory.

Join us for these interesting exercises:

Then a caregiver from Mumbai Skypes in. Her voice is sad and her face is drawn and pale. She wipes at her eyes as she discusses her issues with her father. Instantly, one of our caregivers steps forward to offer advice. I share ideas with her as well. Then Dr. Sahi, leader of the New Delhi Laughter Academy, guides us in laughter exercises. Within minutes, we are all laughing, even our friend from Mumbai. When the session ends, the worn and weary caregiver has been transformed into an energetic and renewed woman, one who believes there is hope. 

       That’s is one of the reasons we all came together: our mutual hope and our belief that everyone needs support and a sense of community and purpose.

Experience our New Delhi caregiver’s event by watching this video:

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Creating a Dementia Friendly Kansas City: Join us and make a difference.

 

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Laughing for Health and Happiness in St. Thomas

The people of St. Thomas have been through a lot and many are still recovering from Hurricane Maria. But despite the hardships, they were ready to laugh for health and happiness. We were delighted to be working with our friend Arleen Evans O’Reilly, Director of the Family Caregiver Support Program, offering a laughter yoga class in St. Thomas. We met at the senior center and had a wonderful time facilitating laughter with seniors, caregivers, and people who are living with dementia. CLICK HERE to  experience a glimpse of our session.

We have been experimenting with making our laughter sessions increasingly interactive. We invited our attendees to suggest ingredients for the stew and it included chicken, pumpkin, onions, carrots, potatoes, and bullion. After we added and stirred, we tasted and it was both delicious and “funny” tasting. 

For our milkshake, we first asked people what ice cream they want to use. We had a lot of chocolate lovers. A few enjoyed vanilla and strawberry. We also had fans of praline cream, banana, and cherry Garcia. We held an imaginary container in one hand and we poured milk with the other hand and and said, “Ha ha ha.” After doing that three times, we scooped in our ice cream three times, adding in laughter syllables. Then, with both hands, we shook and laughed. Finally, we tasted and enjoyed a good giggle.  

Ron and I continue to explore ways to add more laughter into our every day lives. The benefits of sustained intentional laughter include reducing stress, lowering blood pressure, boosting the immune system, increasing oxygen to the brain, creating a sense of connection and community, and increasing feelings of happiness. Plus, laughter offers us aerobic exercise. 

Here are some of the way we’re adding extra laughter into the day:

  • Laughing while we exercise. Squats are much more fun when you’re giggling as you do them.
  • Adding laughter activities in while we walk.
  • Singing “Ha Ha” syllables to favorite tunes. Even a simple, Row Row Row Your Boat, with Ha ha syllables, makes us laugh.
  • Looking at the clock and deciding, “We’re going to laugh for one minute.”

We often visit Robert Rivest’s site for short ten-minute laughter videos, which cheer us onward. Laughteryoga.org offers more great resources. And we have fun creating our own laughter activities. If you have laughing ideas you want to share, we’d love to hear from you.

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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Pick the Best Care Community for Your Loved One

My hands were sweating as Mom, Dad, and I entered the memory care unit. We desperately wanted to pick the best care community for my mother. Pam, the head nurse, rushed towards us, arms outstretched. 

“So good to see you again,” she told my father and me. She turned to Mom. “And you must be Frances. Paul has told me so much about you. I hear you’re a nurse too.”

She took Mom’s arm and they walked together down the corridor, talking. We followed and Pam stopped at a small dining area, where coffee and cookies, chocolate chip, one of Mom’s favorites, awaited us. Dad and I looked at each other and smiled. Maybe, just maybe, this was going to be all right. 

We had already visited several homes and none of them seemed warm enough, caring enough, or quiet enough for Mom. What had won us over was Pam and her feeling for people who were living with memory loss, her determination to create community, her compassionate and easy way of communicating. 

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One of the most challenging experiences caregivers can face is finding the right community when your loved one needs care. Jytte Lokvig, PhD, regularly consults with families on this issue. Her new book, Moving & More, offers families concrete guidelines for finding the facility that meets their needs.

Click here to see our interview with Jytte Lokvig

When visiting a care community, Jytte suggests that we ignore the lobby and the landscaping. A beautiful lobby soothes the family’s soul but has little to do with the quality of care and engagement offered. Spend at least a couple of hours in memory care.

“Remember,” she says, “you are asking your loved one to live here. Stay on after your tour and blend into the scenery, so you can really get a sense of how staff and residents interact.”

Here’s what you want to learn:

  • Does the facility practice “Person centered-care?
  • Do residents participate in menu and activity choices?
  • What is the staff/resident ratio?
  • What are the staff retention rates?
  • Do all staff receive mandatory first aid and dementia training?
  • Are the family, nurse, personal care and activity staff involved in creating the resident’s care plans?
  • Does the activities calendar offer a blend of entertainment and interaction? 
  • Are there both individual, small group, and large group activities?
  • Does the staff acknowledge each resident, even with a simple greeting or compliment?

After you have a sense of the community, take your loved one to visit. Have a meal with the residents. Stay for an activity program. 

“Several visits like this helps both of you feel more comfortable when the move comes,” Jytte says.

For more tips and information, visit Jytte’s site at http://www.alzheimersatoz.com and consider her book:  Moving and More.

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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 Santa Takes a Stand

     I saw the red outfit and overgrown white beard even before I heard the bell ringing. I reached into my pocket to dig out a few coins. This Sunday Santa looked surprisingly like a Norman Rockwell version. Then I noticed there was a glint rather than a twinkle in his blue eyes. 

     “I’m asking you to give back,” the man in red said: 

     “Excuse me?” 

     “I’m asking you to give back!” His voice was deep, but I didn’t hear the old jolliness.

      He handed me a piece of paper with the heading: Capital Campaign, The Season for Giving, S. Claus and Associates. “Have you received good service from our outfit over the years?” 

     “Well, yes, I have,” I said, remembering the red bicycle that had magically appeared when I was seven.

     “And do you feel like we have met and exceeded your expectations?”

     “Yes, I do.”   I rubbed my hands together. The wind was sharp and my fingers felt frozen.

     “I really need to get going,” I said.

Santa touched my arm. “We need your help. How would you feel if you’d been working night and day for others, trying to make wishes and dreams come true, creating astonishing presents and delivering them. How would you feel if all you ever received back was the occasional cookie and milk. I have had enough. I am asking you to give back.”

     I looked at Santa carefully and wondered if whoever hired him knew he was over the edge. I breathed in, but detected no odor of alcohol. His pupils were not dilated; his hands not frenetic. He didn’t look like he was on some mind-altering substance. 

 I reached into my wallet for a dollar or two. 

“No,” he said, pushing away the money. “I want you to truly give. Not just a spare couple of bucks. I want you to understand and appreciate what I’m doing.” 

     Part of my brain was sternly reminding me this was an ordinary man dressed in a fluffy red suit. Then, a wave of compassion pushed through me. Here was a great mythological hero asking for help! 

     Santa’s legs seemed to buckle and he sagged as though he were about to fall. I took his arm and led him into a nearby fast food place, where I bought him coffee and fries and a big burger with everything. As he ate, I pulled out my cell phone.

      “I’m going to be a few minutes late,” I told my shop manager.

     “That’s just one of the things we need,” Santa said mournfully, as I finished my call.   

      “What?” 

     “Cell phones. Can you imagine dropping down all those chimneys without calling ahead first and making sure there’s no chestnuts roasting?”

      I pictured Santa, sitting in his reindeer-driven sleigh, dialing direct and collect. I wondered how many would take the call.

       “Santa, people expect to receive from you. That’s what we love about you. All we have to do is act reasonable for a year, and we get wonderful gifts.”

      “Things change,” Santa said. “We’ve existed for years on nothing but goodwill and good cheer. But the supply is running low. I’m thinking we should forget the old fashioned approach and embrace the age of technology.”

      My throat tightened. I imagined Santa, logging in on line, charging up presents on his gold credit card, filling out W-2’s on the elves and writing up reports for OSHA and the SPCA about the reindeer. I imagined a virtual holiday, where presents simply appeared as part of an email attachment, recipients unspecified.

     “What can I do?” I asked. “Do you have a list of what you want? We always give you a list to work from.”

“I hadn’t thought of that! Of course! Can I borrow a crayon and paper?” 

     I handed Santa a pen and a page from my note pad. As he wrote, I stared out the window, watching shoppers rush past. Most of them looked anxious and overwhelmed. They would be even more anxious if they knew Santa was considering taking a Christmas off!

     Santa smiled as he handed back my pen and said, 

     “Now, I want to sit in your lap and read you my list.” 

     “What!”  

Before I could refuse, Santa had settled at least half of himself on my lap. 

“So what would you like for Christmas?” I said, in my deepest, merriest voice.

  • “A cell phone, with unlimited long distance. 
  • A new transportation system. Something that doesn’t leave hoof prints.
  • Productivity training for the elves.
  • Sensitivity training for the reindeer.
  • A new suit, something with pockets.
  • A new corporate headquarters — in a more temperate climate.

Santa bounced up and down as he recited his list. Each bounce made my legs twinge. Each word made my heart cringe. If Santa traded his charm, and his bumbling good will for high tech efficiency, the whole spirit of the holiday season would be radically changed.                                  

     “Now what?” I asked, when Santa had finished his list..

     “Now that you’ve paid some attention to me, I feel better.” Santa stood up. He fluffed his beard, brushed a few crumbs off his belly, and said, “Ho Ho, I feel richer already.  Please spread the word about giving back.”

I raced to work, feeling great. I had just given to one of the world’s champion givers. As I walked down the crowded street, I looked carefully at each rushing person, wondering who else was in need of a little good cheer.

Deborah Shouse is the author of Connecting in the Land of Dementia: Creative Activities to Explore Together and Love in the Land of Dementia: Finding Hope in the Caregiver’s Journey.

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